Last Post

I will be closing this blog due to the fact that it has a ton of personal info on it and a blog will open to all readers including coworkers so that they can keep up with my school venture.

Love to you all... Tawny

3 amigos, 3 stooges, 3 blind mice...

Where have I been????
It was Victoria's (middle) birthday a couple of weeks ago and I finally got to dress up to go out-- neither have I done in a very long time. It was a great night where they sipped wine and I nursed a diet coke. We all ended up wearing black, though it was not planned. This weekend we are all meeing up in Walnut Creek for Christmas shopping, hot cocoa sipping, and twinkle light watching.

Starting tomorrow is the 70th annual basketball tournament here at the college. I am involved behind the scenes with it at the moment, but I get to sing the national anthem tomorrow for the opening game. This next 3 days is the best 3 days of the year because I feel normal. 3 straight days of people all around me who are over 6 feet tall. *Sigh*

On the baby front, I went over to see Amanda this past weekend, and Paige and Levi are so freaking cute it's unbelievable! Their actual due date was Nov 29th so at around 8 pounds they both look huge now compared to how they did when they were born-- but technically they are just at newborn weight. Amanda definitely has her hands full, but she wouldn't want it any other way.

School is looming over me like a freight train. I bought a backpack and an ipod so I am ready to try and blend in. The problem is, I am afraid of my age sticking out like sore thumb, but worse yet, I am afraid of my age not sticking out like a sore thumb. I gave my notice here at work and have been humming and skipping and happy ever since. The secretaries in the next office are pretty happy too-- with me leaving they get to change my position to be subordinate to them, something I have fought from changing for the last 6 months. Let them do what they want-- I am outta here!

I joined Christmas choir so every tuesday and thursday night I am busy learning the new music and once again trying to blend. Last week we tried on red sequined choir tops that are supposed to be long sleeved, but the end of the sleeves must have been scared by my wrists because it jumped back a good 6 inches and stayed riiiiight at the ugly spot where you know the shirt is too short. I look ridiculous, but if Jesus does not mind then I don't either. Mom started the choir with me last week, but had to kindly recede back into the congregation after an exhausting week of choir, wedding planning, and Christmas.

Oh yeah! There is a wedding to plan! Laura and I have met a couple of times with pens and paper and ideas, and I'll tell you-- that girl knows what she wants. I just love her to death. We talk about music and cakes and flowers and hair and all the subjects that makes a girl tick. I have my orders of things I can help with, which I will do in my "free time" i.e. after December 21st when I become unemployed...

I am looking forward to spending this holiday season with my family and friends, and I wish some of you were closer. I have received Alysun's Christmas letter and I loved that I am more in her life now because of the blog then just a Christmas letter every year. It made reading what she wrote all the more special. Emma wants a Bible name, ha! Tell her that it was almost Delilah and she won't mind anymore :)

20 days until Christmas!

Perfect Timing, Perfect Love

It was the annoucement we've all been waiting for, and yet still cannot believe. Mick and Laura announced to the family last week that they are going to be married on February 9th! I'm going to have a sister-in-law-- and an amazing one at that. Here they are pictured in front of Sleeping Beauty's Castle, decorated for the holidays. This is the place where Micky proposed to his very own princess (soon to be Queen!)

We're all so excited, and not just because Mick is getting married, but that he is getting married to her. From my point of view, watching Micky and how he is with Laura has changed my perception on love entirely. I'm glad that they are here to stay, because I can't imagine Laura and Mikey not in our lives.

Tawny Jr.

I am Junior at Simpson University! What a week it has been, deciding and finalizing, and just simply resting in the fact that the Lord wants me to go to this school. I will give my notice at work soon, and already plans to move are in progress. Luckily I won't have much to drive up to Redding, so mostly I am trying to prepare my heart and mind for a whole new life.

Scholarships can be sent c/o Student #917147. Ha, just kidding. I don't even have a student number yet :)

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

At a Precipice

Let me just say, for the record, that I love babies. Here I'm holding Madison Louise Dean less than 24 hours after she was born. Now that I think about it-- that was soon! But I went to the hospital to see my friend Shawna and to go take pictures for the announcements, so I was there on business (baby business). The reason that I thought to put this up was because Shawna just came to the office with Madison to visit and I got to hold her again. Who can work when there are babies around???

Amanda continues with the good news of her babies, as Levi is over 6 pounds now, and Paige is right behind. She posts pictures on her blogs and is now is a holding pattern at home waiting for her kids to get stronger. What an incredible year that family has had. Amanda is my hero.

My friend Jen and I went to Simpson University this past weekend. I did not want to go because as of Sunday morning, I was going to attend the local CSU, but I figured I could help Jen get set up. I was secretly hoping that I would hate it all so that I could come home with my decision made. Let me just say: It was a great trip all around. Everyone we met couldn't be nicer. We went to dinner with Cathy, who owned our potential housing, and we had a ton of questions, stories, and plans (although we asked her to hold off on reserving both rooms until after we met with campus advisers the next day) . We had a hard time sleeping where we stayed which actually made for a productive night. I was up at 4:30 a.m. putting together a list of questions, concerns, and negotiations that I would need fulfilled before considering attendance to the campus. The sleeplessness made for a long day touring the campus, but at least I came prepared. We both felt raw emotionally and had to really stop and take it all in. My expectations were exceeded as far as what Simpson is willing to work with: my credits placed me at junior status, the money was halfway there, and I could get done in 4 semesters. All no problem. Where does that leave me now? Exactly here, at a precipice, overlooking what could be and what is. I have the option of going to Simpson all tied up in a neat little package sitting there waiting for the Lord to say its ok to open it. During my sleepless night I pulled My Utmost for His Highest off of the shelf and turned to Sundays date. The following passage had me stunned into submission, for I don't want to be in the way of anything that the Lord is doing. I have to remove me from the equation altogether and let the Lord do the work he wants to do. That being said: I'll let you know when I do!

The Supreme Climb
"Take now thy son ."
Genesis 22:2
God's command is - Take now, not presently. It is extraordinary how we debate! We know a thing is right, but we try to find excuses for not doing it at once. To climb to the height God shows can never be done presently, it must be done now. The sacrifice is gone through in will before it is performed actually.

"And Abraham rose up early in the morning and went unto the place of which God had told him" (v. 3). The wonderful simplicity of Abraham! When God spoke, he did not confer with flesh and blood. Beware when you want to confer with flesh and blood, i.e., your own sympathies, your own insight, anything that is not based on your personal relationship to God. These are the things that compete with and hinder obedience to God.

Abraham did not choose the sacrifice. Always guard against self-chosen service for God; self-sacrifice may be a disease. If God has made your cup sweet, drink it with grace; if He has made it bitter, drink it in communion with Him. If the providential order of God for you is a hard time of difficulty, go through with it, but never choose the scene of your martyrdom. God chose the crucible for Abraham, and Abraham made no demur; he went steadily through. If you are not living in touch with Him, it is easy to pass a crude verdict on God. You must go through the crucible before you have any right to pronounce a verdict, because in the crucible you learn to know God better. God is working for His highest ends until His purpose and man's purpose become one.

Debt is a four letter word

Something happened last week that is changing my life. I paid off my debt to my parents for past money woes. That means I only have my car payment left, otherwise I would officially be debt free. The weight that lifted off my shoulders was incredible and I have literally lost 5 pounds since. I was in my own private prison.

Because of this life changing event, my thoughts on school have been challenged. See, I thought with having the slate wiped clean, I could go into any school and be ok with starting to rack up the school loans, because school loans are good debt. But because of what I have been through, it does not seem feasible to get a degree that would cost me 3 times more at a private college. This is just one of the many reasons that make Simpson look like it is not going to work out. Simpson is not letting me start as a Junior because not all of my hard earned units will transfer, and on top of that they are requiring 15 units of Bible courses before graduation, which is an entire semesters worth (I am not complaining about Bible courses, just the tough standards for transfer students). If I start at the local CSU, then I be in 1/3 less debt in the end. That way, when I graduate at 29, I don't have to spend my 30's paying it off. Of course a month ago the local CSU was not an option, so the fact that I am back here and ok with the idea is amazing to me. God even brought me a potential roommate if I stay here so I can move closer to the campus. I will still go and check out the Simpson campus next weekend, but please pray for wisdom in this decision.

Ugly is the New Pretty

Here is a photo of me the day before my ugly transformation... and then a photo of my metamorphasis into Betty Suarez, aka Ugly Betty. It was such a fun day, including the winner of the costume contest being yours truly. We had a potluck at work and I actually went for my daily walk in this costume. I'm growing weary of the eyebrows though...I want my makeup and fashion back!!!

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