At a Precipice

Let me just say, for the record, that I love babies. Here I'm holding Madison Louise Dean less than 24 hours after she was born. Now that I think about it-- that was soon! But I went to the hospital to see my friend Shawna and to go take pictures for the announcements, so I was there on business (baby business). The reason that I thought to put this up was because Shawna just came to the office with Madison to visit and I got to hold her again. Who can work when there are babies around???

Amanda continues with the good news of her babies, as Levi is over 6 pounds now, and Paige is right behind. She posts pictures on her blogs and is now is a holding pattern at home waiting for her kids to get stronger. What an incredible year that family has had. Amanda is my hero.

My friend Jen and I went to Simpson University this past weekend. I did not want to go because as of Sunday morning, I was going to attend the local CSU, but I figured I could help Jen get set up. I was secretly hoping that I would hate it all so that I could come home with my decision made. Let me just say: It was a great trip all around. Everyone we met couldn't be nicer. We went to dinner with Cathy, who owned our potential housing, and we had a ton of questions, stories, and plans (although we asked her to hold off on reserving both rooms until after we met with campus advisers the next day) . We had a hard time sleeping where we stayed which actually made for a productive night. I was up at 4:30 a.m. putting together a list of questions, concerns, and negotiations that I would need fulfilled before considering attendance to the campus. The sleeplessness made for a long day touring the campus, but at least I came prepared. We both felt raw emotionally and had to really stop and take it all in. My expectations were exceeded as far as what Simpson is willing to work with: my credits placed me at junior status, the money was halfway there, and I could get done in 4 semesters. All no problem. Where does that leave me now? Exactly here, at a precipice, overlooking what could be and what is. I have the option of going to Simpson all tied up in a neat little package sitting there waiting for the Lord to say its ok to open it. During my sleepless night I pulled My Utmost for His Highest off of the shelf and turned to Sundays date. The following passage had me stunned into submission, for I don't want to be in the way of anything that the Lord is doing. I have to remove me from the equation altogether and let the Lord do the work he wants to do. That being said: I'll let you know when I do!

The Supreme Climb
"Take now thy son ."
Genesis 22:2
God's command is - Take now, not presently. It is extraordinary how we debate! We know a thing is right, but we try to find excuses for not doing it at once. To climb to the height God shows can never be done presently, it must be done now. The sacrifice is gone through in will before it is performed actually.

"And Abraham rose up early in the morning and went unto the place of which God had told him" (v. 3). The wonderful simplicity of Abraham! When God spoke, he did not confer with flesh and blood. Beware when you want to confer with flesh and blood, i.e., your own sympathies, your own insight, anything that is not based on your personal relationship to God. These are the things that compete with and hinder obedience to God.

Abraham did not choose the sacrifice. Always guard against self-chosen service for God; self-sacrifice may be a disease. If God has made your cup sweet, drink it with grace; if He has made it bitter, drink it in communion with Him. If the providential order of God for you is a hard time of difficulty, go through with it, but never choose the scene of your martyrdom. God chose the crucible for Abraham, and Abraham made no demur; he went steadily through. If you are not living in touch with Him, it is easy to pass a crude verdict on God. You must go through the crucible before you have any right to pronounce a verdict, because in the crucible you learn to know God better. God is working for His highest ends until His purpose and man's purpose become one.